iGet Cuffed
by Blushing.Violet
Summary: This, is the reason why you can never push Carly Shay too far. When she gets pushed, she just pushes harder. Oneshot. R&Rs are appreciated.


~iGet Cuffed~

It was a typical Friday afternoon. Spencer was sculpting whatever it was he sculpted, Carly was kicking back and watching re-runs of Girly Cow, and myself well, I was doing what I always do 37% of my time.

Bickering.

Not just with anyone; it was Fredwad, leader of the planet Dorkatron. I'd completely forgotten by now what started the whole thing, but all I knew now was that…

I was winning.

"You did _not _have to go there!"

"Yeah I did." I gave a single nod, grinning at his flustered expression.

"Oh yeah? Well, how would you like it if—"

"Guys, come on… Stop." Carly said wearily, letting her head droop onto a pillow.

"How come no one's defending me?" Freddie asked, confused. "I'm over here getting _butchered_ by this, thing—"

"You want butchered?" I cracked my knuckles, "I'll show you butchered."

"Hit me with your best shot. Go on, I dare you." Cocky now, are we?

After widening for a split-second, my eyes narrowed into cat-like slits. "You're gunna regret the day you uttered those words, Benson."

"You wouldn't beat me up." He was getting too confident of himself. Arms crossed, he held a stance that was just _begging _for it.

"Yeah she would." Carly and Spencer chorused, half-paying attention.

Freddie's brows bounced, "Fine then. Hit me, right here." He gave me his cheek, pointing to it. "No holding back."

Biting my lip, I clenched a tight fist and creakily let it fall.

"Ha. See? I knew it." He bragged to them, turning around for one brief moment. She's all bark and no—"

That's when Freddie's stomach hit the floor, pinned. He groaned like a dying animal.

"What's the password?" I sang, keeping his weight down.

"Uncle!" He cried.

"Nope, you see my friend it changes everyday." I pointed out, as he tried to wriggle free. I sat on his back and examined my nails.

"Two more tries." I informed.

"Before what?"

"Before I—"

A barrage of finely aimed water squirts attacked me, then Freddie, then as we scrambled up it still went on for a few more seconds. We fended off the storm as best we could.

"_Alright!_"

"_OKAY!_"

Freddie brushed himself off, then as we exchanged looks it hit us with one more blow each.

"Carly!"

"I'm so sick of you guys fighting!" She shouted, a motherly look plastered on her face. This couldn't be good.

"What?" I whined.

"We weren't fighting," Freddie started.

"We were bantering!"

"There's a difference you know."

"Oh, okay I get it." She nodded just a bit too much. "Bantering is just a lighter form of bickering which is related to the Latin for fighting. Point is, you're not getting along. I've warned you guys before about pushing my buttons." Her face grew a bit tighter and I mentally shivered.

"She has," Spencer agreed nonchalantly; focused on his mumbo mass of play-clay.

"How are _we_ pushing _your_ buttons?" Freddie quizzed.

"Because I don't enjoy seeing my two best friends at odds like this. You guys hardly ever get along."

"They don't." Spencer shook his head, still sculpting. I sighed.

"Thank you, Mr. Peanut Gallery!" Freddie said sarcastically.

"We get along!" I defended, feeling his eyes burn a hole in my head. "Not usually but, sometimes." I muttered, glancing at him then the floor.

"Oh yeah? Name one time you guys have lived in peace for 10 minutes." She crossed her arms and stared at us.

"Uh…" Freddie was done helping me out here. I couldn't convince him to think of something even if I let Frothy loose all over him.

That's when I heard a familiar clicking noise; and the last time I heard it Freddie was on the top of my special, list.

* * *

The cool metal bracelet was just as cold as my blood. Teeth clenched, I closed my eyes and took a breath.

"Give me the key, Shay."

"No." She said defiantly, like a three-year old girl who got away with pushing her brother off something and couldn't possibly be happier.

"Shay…" Freddie's eyes grew as he turned to me. Even _he_ wasn't dumb enough to mess with that tone.

"Spencer!"

"I'm open!" She tossed it to him and I tore after it, yanking the nerd along with me.

It clinked onto the floor, and in a mad dash the three of us scrambled after it. Spencer, victorious, held it up above reach.

"I got it!"

Down he fell.

I tried to pry his clutched hand open, but he held on for dear life.

"Carly dispose of it!" She hurried over and ceased it, and flew up the stairs. Freddie was now keeping pace, but just barely.

Carly met our exasperated faces with a warning look; loosely dangling it over the toilet. My heart almost exploded.

"You wouldn't," Freddie and I stared at her.

"Yeah she would!" Spencer, out of breath, called from downstairs. A smug grin spread over her face, nodding.

"Carlotta Shay!" I roared.

"You guys promise to get along?"

"YES!" We yelled frantically, "Now give us the key!"

_Clink._

Something tells me she didn't quite trust us.

She flushed the toilet and sent it swirling towards its death, including ours.

"NOOO!" I cried, falling to my knees; Freddie falling to his. The toilet bellowed and swallowed its metallic victim.

Panting, my gaze tore itself from the bowl and darkly met her mischievous eyes.

"You have a spare, don't you?"

"I, don't think I'll address that question directly." She told us, eyes locked on ours before waltzing away from the scene of the crime, backwards. Freddie trailed after her, seeing no point in having a funeral and I followed behind like a shackled prisoner.

Shackled.

* * *

It was a good thing our lockers were close by, but that was the least of our worries, at this point.

I was gunna go learn about big math numbers and their even bigger loss of value, and Fredward here had a date with Ms. Briggs and her boring lectures on whatever it is she lectures us on.

He was walking one way, and I was walking the other.

"Come on _Puckett_ I'm not gunna be late for class today. I've had a perfect attendance record since 5th grade and—"

"Oh bweh," I mock-cried, "Why don't you just, go crawl up into a cave somewhere—"

"I would, but I have a _you_ joined to me, if you didn't notice." He held his end of the lock up in the air, bringing mine up like a puppet. I scowled at him.

"Yeah I can see that, thanks for bringing it out Caption Obvious."

"You're welcome, _nub_."

"Watch your mouth, Benson." I said lowly.

"Don't mind if I don't, Puckett."

I yanked one way and he yanked back.

"Can't you guys just go about this like reasonable adults?"

"There's no reasoning, with an 'it'." Freddie spat. I gritted my teeth.

"Maybe if you hadn't—"

"Oh sure yeah now it's my fault. See Carly? She always blames everything on me. Everything." He babbled, ignoring my overlapping comment. Carly sighed.

"Sam, go with Freddie."

"But—"

"Go! Do you really want him breathing down your neck about this later on? What've you got to loose?"

"An arm."

She blinked rapidly, breathing shallow. "I will give you ten seconds to get the heck out of here. One,"

We ran in opposite directions, and when she sped up a few numbers I gave in.

"Six, eight, _nine and a half nine and three quarters_!" She shouted after us. By then we were around the corner and feet away from the door. Freddie pulled it open for us and filed in seconds after me.

* * *

"Aren't you good at like, lock-picking?"

"Yeah I already _tried_, Freddifer. Duh." I retorted, "I used a paper clip, a bobby pin and some hair spray and still no dice. I'm just as desperate to bust this thing off as you are." I charged down the hall to the only last hope we could've had; chugging the dork along with me.

We reached the locker of a very preoccupied student, but that obviously didn't matter. The issue of having Freddie attached to me was _WAY _more important than a used tissue with Jennifer Anniston snot.

"Rodney!" I barked, about to chew my hand out of the torture chamber. His eyebrows bounced a moment as he looked down a moment.

"Couldja wait a minute? I'm wit' a customer." He replied, after one cool look-over and a shoulder shrug.

I was _about_ to tackle him down while Freddie raided the locker for anything that might help us, but as soon as I jumped forward at the mop-top a hand flew down on my shoulder. Tersely, teeth gritted, I glanced over and his slightly firm, concerned eyes shot me down like a bullet. I sighed loudly, shook my head and shrugged him off, ignoring the gaze and staring dead on at he-who-was-taking-so-long-with-snot-rags-just-to-make-me-ticked.

Rodney nodded at the student and smirked as he leafed through his wad of Franklins. Another satisfied customer awed at the tissue and I watched him leave; reserving the same horror look I'd had on eight minutes ago for none other than Rip-Off Rodney.

He adjusted his glasses and took a double-take when he met my eyes.

"Okay, okay what can I do for—"

"Is there any way you can get _this_ off my arm?" I threw my attached arm and Freddie's limp one in the air. "I have a life to attend to."

Rodney stared on at the pitiful sight, gently lifting the two cuffs and examining them closely. He bit his lip, raising his eyebrows once more and bobbing his head thoughtfully.

"Have you tried corrosive acid?"

"Do we look like we'd _HAVE_ corrosive acid?" Freddie spat.

"Alright," He put his hands up, "No need to get snippy. You're in there pretty tight, you know… Who thought of this idea?" He pinched and twisted each link of the cuffs, twitching a smirk.

"Carly." Freddie ratted.

"Cuz she thought we were getting out of hand."

"So I guess she decided to put ya in hand, huh?" He looked up at our unfazed expressions, smile fading.

"Sorry, sorry. Look you might be about to crack this off in the Chem. Lab. They've got some pretty strong stuff in there and just the right combination might work. They keep it in the back, though. I have some of it—"

"Really—"

"How much?"

"For you…" His smile curled oft to the side and he nodded; rooting through his locker.

"A one time special discounted price of $750."

We stared at him as if he had told us we were accused of eating batteries.

"What? This stuff normally sells for like, 1200. You're gunna need somethin' strong to get those babies off."

I snorted. "Thanks, but no thanks, rip-off. Come on dork, we've got an issue to settle." I made a 180 for the last possible hope.

"CARLY!"

* * *

"Listen Carls, _we've_ had enough. I'm starving to death cuz Freddie took my eating hand," I couldn't exactly, jab him in the stomach so I sufficed for a nasty look.

"We got _jeered_ at like, seven times today cuz we were _**forced**_ to walk the halls and go to class and everything else together." He piped up, just as flustered.

"_I _missed an opportunity with _Carter _today cuz _this _was attached to me, and dork's gotta pee."

She chewed her lip, smiling just the wee bit.

"It's not _FUNNY!_"

"I know it's not funny," She shrugged, rifling through her pocket. "I actually think it's, kind…" That self-satisfied grin faded faster than that rash my old cousin Robert had at last year's graduation party after he sniffed a peanut.

She slowed a little bit and then checked the other pocket, then solemnly checked her Girlie Cow key-ring and gnawed her lip like it was going out of style.

"Carly you didn't." My pulse slowed a few beats as my heart slipped down my throat like a baseball.

She plastered a totally causal smile on her face and then made the excuse of the bell that never rang.

"You lost it." It was supposed to be a question, but it was more like an obvious & panicked statement.

"No, it's around here somewhere." _Then_ the bell went off. "I'll check my locker after class; top to bottom. If not Spencer might have the spare…" Double-rifling. Still nothing.

"Don't you understand I can't wait that long!?!" I shouted; she shrugged apologetically and hugged her History textbook. I stood there, in that very spot, dumbfounded. I shook my head.

"Well Fredward, looks like you're gunna need a diaper." I shrugged, smugly. "Cuz there is _no_ way _I'm—_"

Freddie stared at the bathroom with this really stupid and desperate look and for a moment I almost knew what he was thinking.

"Not on your life, dork." I dragged him in the opposite direction.

"No you don't understand!" He cried, "I really gotta—" I stopped by the water fountain and let it run for a few painfully golden seconds, cutting him off.

"You were saying?" I smirked.

He glared at me in narrow-eyed disgust as if this was getting to be a personal issue.

"Cut it out, Puckett."

"Wee wee, Benson." I chortled in a mischievous French man's voice. Maybe waiting until after school wasn't such a bad idea after all.

* * *

"I'm gunna COMBUST!" Freddie screeched, banging furiously on the Shay's apartment door. I, still smirking, knocked softly and slowly in all the madness of a bladder-busting Fredward. Carly stared on with a sideways, pursed look.

Spencer opened the door and Freddie ran in like an elephant.

"Spencer get the key! Freddie's gunna loose it!' Carly shouted.

"No! No!" I couldn't stop laughing, "Leave 'em alone! He's fine!"

"Okay-hold-on I'm-gettingthekey!" He shouted frantically. Slipping it in, he turned it a few times and I could feel the cuffs jiggling.

"YES!" He yelled victoriously.

That's when the key snapped in the lock.

"NO!" We all shouted.

He wasn't waiting any longer. Freddie sprinted for the bathroom like an antelope and I snatched the other half of the key, and worked it in frantically—

I'm pretty sure they heard the two elated shrieks and cackles of victory come from around the corner. Panting like an over-heated race-horse, I held up the empty shackle, cuff still clutching my wrist and collapsed on the couch. A blanched Freddie emerged almost a minute later and sprawled all over the armchair he fell on.

"Never." Freddie began, exasperated.

"EVER."

"Do that…"

"Again!" I finished.

"_Ever!_"

"Or we'll get'chu." I narrowed my eyes and pointed at her. "And your big brother too!"

"And you'll regret it!"

"Regret it GOOD!" I pounded my fist like a hammer of justness.

"Oh wow, I'm so scared." She rolled her eyes, playfully.

"I mean it, Shay!" Freddie barked. She blinked, brows knitted together with a smile.

"No more Carly business!" I added, throwing my head back. Spencer turned to stare at her.

"Well I think they had fun don't you?—" He said happily.

"Mm-hmm."

* * *

**Well, that's it. I tried to make it as episode-ish as possible, what do you think, hmm? If you review, I give you a 'BRAND, NEW, CAR!' (Well not really. :p But it's fun to pretend, isn't it? xP) But what I can give you is another cookie. :D Anyone? *Holds out silver platter of fancy smancy Italian cookehz***


End file.
